The Betrothal

I ran as fast as my hooves would carry me. My guard and the guard who had come to fetch me in my wake. When I reached the glade, I already found my mother waiting together with two hoofmaids.

“Where is your head, child! Can you imagine the humiliation, if you would’ve been too late for your own betrothal?” my mother scolded, when I came to a stop breathing heavily from the sprint, “Àillte in Heaven, try catch your breath, you can’t go meet your future betrothed like that. Please, girls.” She added, motioning towards the two hoofmaids. The does immediately sprang into action, one growing flowers in my mane and tail, while the other instructed her trained squirrels to braid them into fancy braids and buns.

“I’m sorry, mother. I just wanted to take a walk. I forgot time.” I spoke sheepishly.

“Dearest, you’re about to become an adult princess, finally stop being a fawn. You can’t just stroll off and lose yourself admiring a butterfly now. You have duties your lord and the herd expects you to fulfil.” My mother said, sighing somewhat before lovingly pressing her nose to my forehead, “I only want what’s best for you, dearest. I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.” I smiled and so did my mother.

“Very good, a smile. Now put on your finest glow for me, just like we trained.” She said and I did as told. We had spent the last few weeks training hard and I did not want to disappoint my parents. I loved them and they had always only wanted my best and due to that love, despite my reluctance of what might be awaiting me, my glow came just naturally, the pride in my mother’s eyes only fuelling it.

“Wonderful.” She praised, sharing a quick nod with the two hoofmaidens, who were done with their business and so we sat out to the Royal Glade and the Great Oak, where my betrothal took place. My mother had told me very strictly and in much detail how I was supposed to walk, look, act and overall appear. I tried my best to remember all her instructions. A gentle smile on my face, regal as the swan, but not too much. A soft stride in my walk, but not too fast. My head high and proud, but not too high. My eyes straight forward, but always also lowered modestly, especially around every stag. I was to be a role-model to all young does, a daughter of the swan, someone to look up to, someone who should fill stags with pride and does with the wish to be just like me. A demure, graceful, silent beauty, aloof, gentle, motherly, graceful.

I took a deep breath, when the Great Oak came in sight. It seemed all royals of the glade stood there, watching the ceremony. I spotted my siblings, their fawns, many friends of the family and some fawnlings I hardly had seen before, like the king’s family, his does and sons. With the king stood my father and my future betrothed. Lord Arthur was about my father’s age, they had been friends since they were fawns. Lord Arthur only hadn’t yet been given a princess, because his line was fairly far from the king’s, yet his family owned a very propsperous glade and Lord Arthur himself had brought much pride to the Kingdom by having fought with the guard and bravely defeated many Blackwoods and Oakferns. He had had many sons, not in the last years, but nobody talked about that. In honour of his service for the herd and probably also because my father had played his good terms with the king himself, he was now finally given a princess. I was his reward.

He was by all means no ugly stag. Despite his age he was still regal and proud, a huge rack on his head, dark from head to toe. His however, from the first moment I saw them, his eyes made me shiver. They were not unkind, but they were hard and unforgiving. The eyes of someone, who was used to get what he wanted and who would not hesitate to punish failure, for he saw it as his right.

I swallowed, when my mother and I stopped in front of the stags. She bowed her head respectfully to the stags, then went to stand at my father’s side, while Lord Arthur turned to stand beside me. I felt tiny beside him, still I shared the smile he offered me, even if I didn’t feel like smiling at all. I had asked my mother, if we couldn’t wait another year, that I did not feel ready yet. Her answer had been very stern, she had called me silly and that it was my duty. I did not need to be afraid, I would make her and the herd proud. My mother had been so certain, I had not dared to argue any further, yet now, that I stood beside Lord Arthur, I suddenly felt very insecure again. I however knew that it was too late, I was to do as I had been raised to do, it was my duty, it was my destiny.

“Lord Arthur, in honour of Errann, will you take this doe for your betrothed, protect and cherish her until the day Òganach calls you back to his sacred kingdom?” the king said.

“Yes, I will.” Arthur said firmly.

“Princess Excalibur, in honour of Àillte, will you take this stag as your betrothed, serve and cherish him until Òganach calls you back to his sacred kingdom?” the king asked me.

I hesitated, looking up at Lord Arthur, at the King, at my parents. They all watched me with anticipation, they all awaited perfection from me, they all awaited me to be what they wanted me to be, they all only saw the doe they had shaped and carved, but who was I? Was I nothing more than that?

“Princess Excalibur?” the king asked and his voice made me shoot back to reality, my ears growing red hot in embarrassment, when I heard mumbles already going through the crowd.

“Yes, yes, I will!” I quickly said, stealing a apologetic glance up at Lord Arthur, who looked at me sternly, like a rock that wouldn’t move the way he wanted to, yes, that was what I was. I was his, in all my body and soul I was his now, like a rock or a beautiful flower he kept in his garden.